That was what Joseph H. Johnson of Salem had to say in defense of comments he wrote, allegedly sealed in an envelope, and then handed to a flight attendant to deliver on to corporate - at the Honolulu headquarters or, you know, wherever.
Johnson, the unruly passenger aboard Flight 39 responsible for its mid-air diversion and a military chaperone, was merely bored, had little to occupy his mind on the 2,560-mile flight, and had nothing to read because airport magazines were too damned expensive. Slideshow
He was bored and wrote the comments as homage to a cross-dressing character from an early 90s Saturday Night Live skit and the neuroses of George Costanza from Seinfeld. In the interview, Johnson gives examples of the voice in which he claims to have written the comments.
Johnson told KGW he could not believe flight attendants opened his sealed correspondence to the airline's headquarters and questioned whether any laws had been broken. Interview (Part 2)
Johnson said he had no clue his note that prompted the pilot to turn theplane back.
When police came aboard he joked to his girlfriend that they were after him. They were. Passenger video
He was escorted off the plane uncuffed and made to go through security several more times at which point his shoelaces were confiscated so he could not hang himself, he said.
I told them to keep the shoes - it was too much hassle. Interview (Pt 3)
Johnson said he read portions of his note to the FBI and they laughed about it. The FBI assured him he would not be arrested and so did the TSA. But he believes it was the FAA that pressured a felony charge for interfering with flight attendants.
The comment card may have been in bad taste for these times but it was not aimed at the flight's crew, he reiterated, and he would not apologize for exercising his right to complain.
It was a joke.