If you find yourself on a constant quest to become a better parent, you might want to find out your personality type.
“There seem to be nine major ways that people develop major world views that they use to get through life,” explained Portland personality specialist Dale Rhodes.
The Enneagram is a model for determining your type. There’s the observer, loyal skeptic, adventurer, protector, mediator, perfectionist, giver, performer and romantic.
“Parents make choices that this will be the way I want my child to survive but the child may be programmed naturally to use a different value,” explained Rhodes.
After reading descriptions of the different types, mother of two Astin Mills determined she has the personality of a mediator.
“I’m always trying to find the happy middle ground when dealing with the kids. It definitely makes me the one that rolls over when adversity hits,” she said.
Finding out your personality and that of your child might provide a sort of map for raising them.
“You’ll see what values come naturally to your child and what ideas your child will need more help with,” said Rhodes.
Rhodes has joined forces with parenting coach Kathy Masarie to help moms and dads determine their Enneagrams.
His website lists a price of $110 an hour for individual sessions for new clients. Insurance companies will not reimburse the cost.
“When one parent finds out what their type is and then they find out what their spouse’s type is that’s where a lot of parent conflict an come in,” remarked Masarie.
For example, if one parent is a cautious skeptic and the other is an adventurer they will have a completely different attitude when they take the kids to an amusement park.
“If we don’t know this language of love for our kids and the ways they naturally express goodness we can miss it. That’s why the Enneagram is important,” concluded Rhodes.