Stephanie Stricklen

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CLEANUP, Aisle 5

by Stephanie Stricklen

Posted on November 20, 2008 at 6:14 PM

Updated Wednesday, Nov 4 at 2:42 PM

So, I bolted to Whole Foods before work today to stock the mini fridge with goodies like pineapple, blackberries, peppers and the like.. and almost got sucked into the vortex of smelly candles. I have a total weakness for them. As I walked by, I caught them out of the corner of my eye and snapped around so fast I looked like a little kid in one of those toddler harnesses who just tried to climb over the edge of a fountain or chase a puppy. WHAM. Anyway, I clucked and purred while trying to decide which one was coming home with me until I finally had a flash of common sense and walked away. Have you ever walked into a house, opened the door, and been knocked down by some thick perfumey odor that makes your eyes water? No? You should come over.

I can't help it.
I need an intervention.

I got all my goodies together and wandered up to the checkout line, but not before sampling the following: tangerines, pinapple, peanuts, spicy peanuts, gouda, cheddar, mozzarella, mulled apple cider, bundt cake, and hand lotion. I swear.. go at 11am and you won't need to buy lunch.

I noticed all the checkout lanes had long lines of straight-faced people queued up. Except one. Too good to be true, I thought. And it was. The gal in front of me purchased almost $600 in groceries. $600 bucks! And I didn't see any expensive wine, folks.

There was no sly way to snag a photo so I was just painfully obvious about it. They weren't even done ringing her up at this point..


We've exchanged some funny comments about this on Twitter: @StephStricklen