I'd probably stare, too.
I look like a horde of angry bees punched me right in the face. My eyes are swollen, my cheeks are swollen, I AM SWOLLEN.
For those of you who emailed or sent me tweets asking where I've been, I wish I could tell you something exciting like, "I was in Maui"... or, "on my friends mega-yacht at a Regatta".
But I was at home pulling off Cirque du Soliel style gymnastics on the couch as I attempted to keep my feet elevated above my heart, and my heart elevated above my head, all while only lying on my left side. Do you have any idea how hard that is when you're pregnant?
Apparently someone invited Edema (swelling) to crash my pregnancy party. It showed up a few weeks ago all nice, with some flowers, and promised it would only stick around for a little bit. I'd barely notice it was there, it cooed at me.
Next thing I know, it's running around wearing only its underwear and a lampshade doing keg stands. I'd call it a cab, but it just won't get the hint to leave.
I'm carrying about 5 extra pounds of water weight right now. It came on almost overnight Tuesday and didn't go away Wednesday morning. It hurts to make a fist, my shoes are tight, and I see stars in the shower. Between that, and a nice little spike in my blood pressure earlier this week, the doc wanted to run some very routine tests.
Good news: I don't have pre-eclampsia. And, the baby is doing great great great.
Bad news: My blood pressure is up from a super consistent 110/70 to 120/90. I'm pretty puffy. And, at the beginning of May I screwed up how far along I am in my pregnancy on my calendar. It doesn't change my due-date (mid-June) but it does mean I am 2 weeks away from being "full-term" as opposed to one week.
Yeah, see that little number 34? Notice there is no date on the calendar to go with it? That's the error.
So, in the meantime.. enjoy the black shirt you'll see me wearing on Live @ 7 tonite. They say black is slimming. This shirt is about to get a major workout.