Stephanie Stricklen

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I'm dreading it. I really am.

by Stephanie Stricklen

kgw.com

Posted on October 22, 2009 at 12:43 PM

Updated Wednesday, Nov 4 at 2:42 PM

What.. you want me to tell you I can't wait to get back on the air and back to work? Sure, I could lie.

But it's with total honesty that I tell you I can't fathom leaving my baby. I've started having these anxiety nightmares and I know it's because my return date is fast approaching.

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I'll see you on TV November 5th. I'm praying I don't have a meltdown. I hope my co-workers will understand if I do.

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You know, that's something I didn't see coming; this whole wanting-to-spend-every-last-minute-with-my-baby-forever-and-ever. Hear me out: I worked so hard for this job, sacrificed countless holidays, made such little money in the beginning I almost qualified for food assistance programs, lived in small towns away from my family and then boyfriend (now husband). I just gave this career everything I had. Would I have made similar choices had I known how I'd feel about being a mom? I don't know. I just always assumed I'd want to be a working career mom like so many of my dear friends. Many of them get such satisfaction from their day jobs and feel it makes them a better, more attentive parent because of how much they cherish the time they spend with their children.

I'm clinging to that as I gear up to return to the airwaves.

And they all tell me they cried on that first day back to work. And that it gets easier.

I really hope so.

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Follow Steph on Twitter: http://twitter.com/StephStricklen

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